Sayonara
by Obscured Illusions2
Summary: Manta's thoughts on Yoh and what he does to end them. Warnings for any possible flamers: This is Shonen-ai. Please ignore this if you don't like it. AU, Yoh really is the way I described him.


**Important!** I wrote this on another account, and it was taken off. But if it's taken off of this account, I don't care! Bwahaha.  
  
Author's Note:   
  
I wrote this on 4/5/04, and am just now (6/13/04) typing it up, because, yup, you guessed it. I'm lazy! Haha. Just letting you know that I had written this when I had only read the first volume of the manga, and was about a quarter of the way through the 2nd one.  
  
Disclaimer: Shaman King belongs to Hiroyuki Takei and to Hiroyuki Takei ONLY. Meaning, it does not belong to me, and I'm only the little innocent cough fanfic writer who is borrowing the characters for your… enjoyment? O.o   
  
Sayonara  
  
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Manta's POV  
  
The first time I met Yoh Asakura, I thought he was the coolest, most laid back, easygoing guy I'd ever met. Even his shaman abilities didn't disturb me… much.   
  
I was so fascinated by this creature that I failed to notice his non-redeeming qualities- his laziness, his procrastination, and fear of work. All I could see when I looked at him was his extreme compassion towards his friends and ghosts, his ability to make friends so easily, and the fierce determination that manifested so magnificently while he battled for his life and his ghosts' honor.  
  
No matter what the circumstances, he always came through for them. I was so in awe by this unworldly strength of character, and his fiery ambition, that while I gaped at him, I couldn't see that I was falling in love with him even more with each passing day.   
  
Now that I look back on this, I can see what a fool I was for even associating with that cowardly lowlife. The one battle that could have given him- given US everything we wanted; Yoh, like the scum he is chickened out and ran away. Ran away from his fights, from everything he had previously stood for, but most importantly ran away from me.   
  
Once I could forgive him; but not twice or thrice. Each time I tried to approach him, whether it was to console him like I attempted to at first, or, later on, to berate him, he stole away from me and left for extreme amounts of time to "think" about his decision to run away from his destiny. He told me that he "just wasn't ready" and we should "wait".   
  
But there was no more time. We had to act NOW if we were even going to have a chance in the Shaman Fight in Tokyo.   
  
But Yoh was lazy, and didn't train. He LIED to me. Every day I was looking out for him; asking him if he had eaten well, or if he had begun training for the ultimate fight so his muscles would be lithe and supple, making it easy for him to integrate 100% with Amidamaru.   
  
And every day he said the same thing. "Yes Manta, stop bugging me about it." in a bored tone of voice. I curse myself now for not having realized he was telling me an untruth, for as well as I should have known him, that should have been one of the first things on my mind.  
  
But, as I later found out, he had been doing his usual routine. After sleeping at school, while I took notes and did classwork for the both of us, then dashed home to do our homework, he sluggishly walked over to the graveyard, with those damn earphones of his, listening to music, watching the stars, and talking to ghosts.  
  
He didn't lift a single finger to begin to get ready, not even taking suggestions from his own spirits. I can't blame him that much for it though; he never did have the right frame of mind to become the Shaman King. Sure, he had ability, but if he was never going to use it to its utmost power, what was the point?  
  
I remember that story he told me once, and I will never forget it. He always used to go on and on about how he aspired to become the greatest shaman ever, and talk with the creator to achieve all of his dreams.   
  
Heh. Like he ever did anything to make HIS dreams come true. But now, it doesn't even matter anymore. Yoh could have made a difference in this world. A BIG difference, if he had put his mind to it.  
  
But how he chose to use his abilities (or exploit them) is none of my affair anymore. Yoh obviously didn't feel like including me in any of his plans, no matter how much I adored him, and worshipped him, and did anything to try and help him.  
  
Sacrificing my OWN well-being to keep him as safe as possible. Yep, that's good old Manta. He'll always be there. He'll never leave.  
  
Well finally, Yoh will be wrong. Because I am leaving. I'll never come back, no matter what he tries to do to make me come back. If he even gets off of his lazy ass to try and find me.   
  
Or maybe I'll take a different route out. Forget the highway, it's straight to hell for me. A path inundated with sin… But Yoh won't care either way. He never did. No matter how many times he tells me I'm his friend and he cares about me- it will never be enough.  
  
Well, now I'm gone. Fuck Yoh. It's my turn to make the rules, I'll do it in my own time. As soon as I swallow these pills, It will all be over. No more worries, especially about that brat.  
  
Goodbye, Yoh. You won't have to see my face around anymore, ruining your perfect little fantasy world. You can live in your dreams, while I'm gone. It won't hurt you, that I know.  
  
It's off to MY dreams now, as disjointed as they may be. With a bit of luck, it won't even bring your head out of the clouds. Hope the site of my body slumped against the door, lifeless and immobile, won't be TOO harsh of a sight for you.   
  
Oh wait. I do.  
  
…  
  
Sayonara.  
  
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A/N: Hope you liked it! Please review!   
  
KATE 


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